Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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