We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
