if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
