he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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