i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
