Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
