hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
