thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
