Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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