so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
