Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
