you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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