It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
