Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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