Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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