Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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