Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
