I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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