I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
