The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
