wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
