I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
40s are totally the cure
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
