So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
