i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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