In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
