I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
