i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
