Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
