I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
