I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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