I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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