absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
