do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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