um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
