Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am puke
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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