Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
