nut hugger
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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