I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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