hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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