Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
