i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
