It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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