I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
