I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
