It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
