Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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