So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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