isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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