I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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