picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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